Happy Halloween!

So, I've been having a good eating week. Staying on target with points. Stayed away from food pretty much at the parties we went to this past weekend. I actually ended up with one point I just couldn't use on Monday. Imagine that.

However, my child is driving me crazy, so, of course, all I want to do is eat and drink. Instead of running last night, I drove to the liquor store. Although, I had already done my brisk 45-minute walk during the day. Just as I'm feeling better about my weight and eating, I'm feeling crappy and insecure as a mom.

Can't we ever win?

H, glad to hear you're back on track. I knew you'd get there. xxoo

Aiming for the Middle

When the crazy train left the other day with me not only fully on board but actually driving, I was deep into my all-or-nothing mindset. It wasn't OK that I had gone over my calories by 100, it was THE END OF THE WORLD.

Now that I'm back in sane-town, I'm fighting hard to stay in the middle. My calorie range is between 1500-1700, and last night I tallied 1600 for the day. Perfect, right? Not in this crazy head! If I was really, really serious, I would have had exactly 1500. Now go have a cookie to feel better cause you're never gonna get to your goals.

And here's the thing -- crazy will always be there. It's my choice whether or not I want to listen to it, and let it get in the driver's seat. Last night I didn't. 1600 was right on target, and I went to bed instead of munching.

This is progress!

Megan, how are you doing?

Sufficiently Talked Down From Ledge

Hookay. I'm better. I removed the whip from my overly self-critical hands and have stopped beating myself up, and thinking WAY WAY WAY too much about my body/weight/body image issues.

Here's what I'm trying to remember in a Stuart Smalley kinda way:

• Every step towards the goal is a good one. Steps sideways are bound to happen.


• I am not my body.


• Every meal, every opportunity to work out, is a choice I make.

In other news, my daily weigh ins are going well; I'm trying to figure out the scale's sensitivity and how water/workouts affect the numbers. I did 45 mins. of cardio yesterday -- woo woo! But went over on my calories. I've picked more veggies to eat today and am trying to do better. And not dwell.

Egads

There's this. Effing scale. Effing me and my self-sabotaging. Gawd.

The Dreaded Birthday Party

Today is my first BIG potential stumbling block in my quest to lose weight: the first birthday party. They'll be cake, candy, chex mix, the whole thing. What to eat? What not to eat? How to use my points wisely?

I'm planning on having a big, filling lunch so I don't go to the party on empty stomach. And I'll spend my time chasing Finley rather than hanging around the food table.

In addition... we have a Halloween Party tomorrow at our neighbor's. I offered to bring some snacks for the adults so that I have something healthy to snack on.

I'll let ya know how it goes...

Today's Educational Article

I'm basically obsessed with reading as much as I can about exercise. Here's my latest finding:

http://www.latimes.com/features/health/la-he-interval15jan15,1,1952620,print.column?coll=la-headlines-health

Yes, I realize it's from about 10 months ago. I'm over that.

http://crankyfitness.blogspot.com/2007/06/interval-training-sorry-its-very-good.html

Vacation was um, bad for me?

Right. I'm 3.5 lbs. heavier than the last time I weighed. Now, here's the part where I give you the caveats: yesterday I had my cheat meal, which was a fantastic hamburger and fries. For dinner. Not to be gross, but it's still in me. So there's that weight. AND I lifted on Wednesday night and am positive I'm carrying around the water from that.

So here's my weight: 139.8

However, I will weigh tomorrow and may in future weeks have to move my cheat meal to another night. This is no way to start a Friday!

In This Corner, Weighing in At...

160 pounds...Yes folks...In the boxing world, that would make me a "Middleweight". But, I went to my meeting and found out that WeightWatchers online was docking me 2pts per day - no wonder I've been starving! The meeting was ok, not very inspirational, but oh well.

So, Heather, where ya at?

I like this picture of us too.

If Only I Liked Dates...

Ah yes, your recipe looks yummy if not for the dates or raisins or whatever you put in it. You know I don't like "small food." : - )

I made WW Sloppy Joes for dinner and just had them for lunch with a salad. DELISH! I find myself searching the cupboards for low-point snacks. Why did I have to start this while I have PMS???

It's been raining for two days which makes going outside for walks (i.e. exercise) very difficult. I'm jealous of all your gym time...

I'll report in after my weigh-in this evening. YIKES!

New Recipe, and thoughts for the day

Hola! M, how you doin?

I made a recipe last night that I think kicks ass:

4 c oats
1 c unsweetened applesauce
6 egg whites (or maybe it was 5)
8 dates, pitted and chopped up (which was challenging, dang those things are sticky)
Cinnamon to taste

Mix together. Throw in baking pan, and flatten out so it looks even. Bake at 350 for 30-35 minutes. Cut into 6 portions.

This makes HUGE oatmeal bars that have tons of protein and are very filling. I completely stole the recipe from someone else, and didn't add Splenda. I find that if a portion is HUGE, I can totally fool myself into thinking it's more food than it actually is. These are 250 calories, with 6 g of fiber and 10 g of protein.

I kept on track with my calories last night, and did extra cardio. Cup of coffee before the workout is like pure magic.

Ah Memories

This reminds me of when we started WW (me for the umpteenth time), circa early 2005, and we called each other the night before work to report the contents of our coolers: "Mexican meatloaf. Check. Strawberries. Check. Oatmeal. Check." It was all BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES!

Speaking of starting WW for the umpteenth time, I can't say there's ONE reason why I've kept this 20 lb. fat suit on all this time. Everyone who knows me knows that I've been talking about losing weight for as long as I can remember. The reasons are: to prevent unwanted attention from men, to cope emotionally, as everyone knows stressed is desserts spelled backwards, to deal with the unpredictability in life, cause if I was heavy, at least it felt safe and predictable.

It doesn't matter what the reasons were. I tend to forget this and live a good portion of my life in problem avoidance/why god why/poor me land. Where I have really no right to live. Perhaps visit, but not live. I have a great life! I'm happy. Healthy. I have a lot to be thankful for.

Where was I going with this? Oh right, talking about weight loss. I'm ready to go for my goals. I'm tired of fighting myself -- the up and down cycle of I HAVE TO HAVE A COOKIE RIGHT NOW and then beating the crap out of myself for it. Nothing worth having in this life isn't achieved by hard work. So I'm ready to do it.

GO US!

Finley's Mom Used to Have it Going On...

Back in the day, I was what you'd call, well... a hottie. Working out almost every day, eating well (re: Lean Cuisines) and having short, sassy hair and a wicked wit got me lots of attention (good and bad...) Then I found the man of my dreams and we settled down and about two years ago had a baby.

I always wanted to be the "hot mom," like Rachel Hunter in the "Stacey's Mom" video. And while my hair is still short and sassy, the boobs are droopy and the thighs are puffy. I stay home with Finley so there's lot of lunch dates at the mall, drive throughs and finishing whatever she doesn't. I started running and was doing well, but then... I have no idea what happened. But I stopped. But I kept eating. And bitching about eating. And taking my clothes to the consignment store because they're too small.

I'm over it.

I weigh almost as much as I did when I delivered my daughter and I refuse to pack another 30 pounds on top of that. I've taken a cue from Heather and decided to do something about it. No second baby until I lose 20 pounds. It may sound silly, losing all that weight just to "get fat," but that's what I'm gonna do. I didn't use my pregnancy as an excuse to eat, in fact I took even better care of myself then than I do know. Sigh.

So, here's where I stop bitching and start some action. Step 1: I joined Weight Watchers. Step 2: Step-up the exercise.

Stay tuned...